The Quiet Flame and the Shouting Shadow, by Tina Malaty
A Poetic Reflection on Confidence vs. Ego
True confidence does not enter the room demanding that others notice it.
It walks in softly — steady as sunrise, sure as the tide.
It is an earned belief, shaped through obedience, humility, and the gentle chiseling of God’s hand. Ego, however, is different.
Ego is a shouting shadow, loud enough to be heard yet empty enough to echo.
It boasts, insists, postures, and performs.
It builds its throne on sand and then trembles the moment the winds begin to blow. From the beginning, Scripture understood this contrast.
The Bible draws a sharp line between the strength that comes from God
and the noise that comes from pride.
Old Testament Roots: Confidence in God’s Strength, Not One’s Own
Confidence — the godly kind — has always been quiet.
It flows from knowing whose we are more than who we are. David, the shepherd boy-turned-king, never trusted the sling in his hand — only the God who guided it: “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” — Psalm 20:7
The humble confidence that moved him toward Goliath was not arrogance; it was alignment. Ego, in contrast, is the spirit that rose in Babel — the human urge to build upward without looking upward: “Let us make a name for ourselves…” — Genesis 11:4
Yet the Lord scattered their tower, showing that ego can construct but cannot sustain.
Proverbs, the ancient book of heart-wisdom, speaks with clarity: “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” — Proverbs 16:18
Pride is loud.
Confidence is grounded.
Only one survives the storm.
Jesus’ Teaching: The Kingdom Inverts the World’s Stage
When Jesus walked among us, He refined the lesson.
He showed His disciples the difference not in theory but in posture.
He knelt.
He washed feet.
He welcomed children.
He ate with the unnoticed.
He quieted crowds instead of stirring them.
He carried a cross no one else wanted to touch. Confidence like His is steady and surrendered. Jesus said: “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” — Matthew 23:12
Here, He names the spiritual law:
Ego lifts itself and falls;
Humility bows low and rises. He also taught “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” — Matthew 5:5
Meekness is not weakness.
It is power under submission — confidence anchored in God instead of inflated by self. Even the apostles learned this the hard way.
When they argued over who was greatest, Jesus responded not with a rebuke, but with a reorientation: “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” — Mark 9:35
The Kingdom flips the script:
Greatness does not shout.
It serves.
It bows.
It trusts.
The New Testament Echo: True Strength Is Gentle
Paul, walking in the shadow of Christ, warns the church: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment.” — Romans 12:3“
Sober judgment is confidence — an accurate understanding of your worth as God defines it.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
He later adds: “Love… is not proud.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4
Ego cannot love because ego sees only itself.
Confidence can love deeply because it is rooted in a love that formed it first. Even Peter, who once boasted loudly and fell loudly, came to say: “Clothe yourselves… with humility toward one another,
because ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” — 1 Peter 5:5
Humility is clothing; confidence grows beneath that clothing; ego tries to tear the clothing off.
Confidence and Ego: The Spiritual Difference
At its heart:
✨ Confidence is a quiet flame.
It burns from within, unbothered by applause, untouched by comparison.
✨ Ego is a brittle firework.
It erupts loudly, glows briefly, and then disappears into darkness.
Confidence trusts God’s voice.
Ego needs others’ voices.
Confidence stands tall because it kneels often.
Ego stands tall because it fears falling.
Confidence looks upward.
Ego looks sideways.
Confidence builds others up.
Ego competes.
Jesus invites us out of the noise and back to the gentle stillness —
the place where identity is not achieved but received.
Final Reflection: The Whisper and the Thunder
In a world addicted to volume, Jesus calls us to the whisper. The whisper of a confident heart that knows:
“I am loved by God, therefore I am secure."
Ego shouts, “Notice me.”
Confidence breathes, “I walk with Him."
One crumbles.
One endures.
One fades.
One becomes a lamp set upon a hill, glowing steady into the night.
One frees.
One liberates.
Search the scriptures and you'll find yourself as well as the One who is searching for you. The real you. You are loved. Your ego will convince you that you need to perform to be valued. But that is a lie. You are perfect, as you are. Whole. I love you, and God loves you more. You don't owe anything to anyone other than to the One True God; the One who created you with such intention and detail, to a point you couldn't even begin to fathom as all of us have been taught we need to earn respect, love, and attention. And more, God lives and dies to love and respect us. He doesn't pressure us. He doesn't judge us. He only holds us accountable for the very things He knows we ourselves judge ourselves and others for. The only difference; He welcomes it but insists on the truth. One of the very things He cannot tolerate is lying. If you have sinned and can admit it, He is gracious enough to forgive. But if you refuse to submit to the truth, He turns, not in wrath, but in disappointment. Disappointment for not seeing His character. For assuming His objective is to judge you rather than to love you. To want the best for you. To assume He wants to point the finger, when, let's be real, He has every right to do so given our daily choices are nothing other than questionable. He doesn't judge us, though.
Unfortunately, the One, True God has been majorly misrepresented. So you can see, He is in the same boat as us as we have all been misrepresented at one point or another. We have all been at the brutal receiving end of gossip as well as its effects. He understands. He doesn't take it personal. He has loved you before you were formed in your mother's womb and no matter what you do, He will always do so. It's up to you to receive that love. Turn your gaze upward. He's waiting for you.
